You master the basics. You’re on autopilot. It works fine, nobody complains, why bother changing a thing?
Because it gets boring. Skills atrophy if you don’t sharpen them. Enter the Kivin Method. Also called the sideways method, this trick is getting serious buzz among sex therapists right now. It’s not a random move by some guy named Kevin, though it might feel that way.
The core idea is simple: stop facing head-on. Lay perpendicular.
Here is the setup. You lie across your partner’s body. Your lips align side-to-side with their genitals. Usually they prop one or both legs on your shoulder for better access. You’re not staring down the barrel. You’re going broad. The tongue works the clitoris, vulva, and perineum all at once. That diamond-shaped patch of skin between the hole and the genitals? Yes. That counts.
It feels more intense for many. The stimulation covers more real estate. Less pinpoint torture, more full-body hum.
Where did it come from? Nobody really knows who Kivin was. It pops up online everywhere. It got a shout-out in The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Tantric Sex way back in 2001. Old tech. New hype.
Why go sideways?
Comfort matters. Think about it. Craning your neck for twenty minutes hurts. Everyone stops giving when the cervical spine screams.
Sadie Allison, sexologist and author of Ride ‘Em Cowgirl!, points out that your neck stays happy. You can go longer. If you can go longer, your partner gets off deeper. But there is a bigger payoff. Your hands are free. Not just “sort of free” like in the standard face-plant. Actually free.
You can touch breasts. You can stroke the stomach. You can hit the hips. It opens the door for internal play too. G-spot or anal stimulation becomes easier when your body is aligned differently.
“This makes for a more intimate connected experience” Allison told HuffPost. “Try rubbing their shoulders. Play with their hair. Tease their nipples.”
Intimacy. That’s the secret ingredient we often forget when we’re just grinding toward the finish line.
Setup tips because not all bodies are flexible
Stretch first. Seriously. Greg Kilpatrick, a psychotherapy expert in Pasadena, compares sex to yoga or running. You warm up before a squat. Warm up before blow jobs. “All of these other activities where we want our bodies to show up sex shouldn’t be any different,” he says.
Don’t be stubborn. The bed might not be the right canvas. Keeley Rankin, a relationship coach in SF, suggests the couch. Partner lies flat on the back. You kneel. Tip your head sideways. It saves the spine.
“I think one of the most important thing with anything having to do sex especially oral is enthusiasm” Rankin said. “So much of that is needing to comfort while doing it.”
Worrying about a stiff neck tomorrow kills the vibe instantly. Tweaking the angle is allowed. Even in the heat of the moment.
Or flip the script. Receiver lies on their side. Bend the top leg up to open things. You come in in a T-shape. Same mechanics. Different geometry. Allison also recommends a pillow under the hips for that “perfectly presented” feel.
Talk about it. Like it or loathe it.
Assumptions kill sex. Kilpatrick notes that we often project what feels good for us onto partners. He uses a blunt example. Men love having their balls touched. They might forget the clitoral hood has similar sensitive tissue. Until someone tells them.
Exploration requires conversation. Slow down. Make the connections. It leads to pleasure you wouldn’t have found in silence.
The Velvet Glide
Now that you are positioned. Do the work. Allison calls it the “Velvet Glide.”
Create a soft seal over the vulva with your lips. Gentle suction. Nothing violent. Glide side-to-side along the whole length. Imagine pucker lips moving across a corn on the cob. Smooth. Continuous.
It builds anticipation. It covers thousands of nerve endings on the inner labia instead of hammering the clit like a piston.
Is it magic? No. Is it worth a try next time the routine sets in?
Maybe. The angle is open.
